"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there, and I'm gonna make your pinky all stinky!" - Jerri Blank, Strangers With Candy
My dad called me up the other day with one of his fun Broadway assignments. Normally, he wants to know some pointless B-way trivia (my specialty), like what show some song is from or who played the original lead in this or what year that came out.... But this time, he came to me with a somewhat deeper assignment. He concluded that of all the epic characters created for musical theatre, the one that he relates to the most is Tateh from the epic Ragtime. Tateh is a devout Jew and mensch; hardworking, industrious, and totally wrapped around the finger of his little girl. I see the connection! So Dad asked me to take my time and decide among all the fantabulous characters of the stage who I resemble the most. A worthy challenge indeed!
Now, you must understand that this is the kind of pointless shit I live for. If there was a career based on knowing obscure information about the Great White Way, I'd be a flippin' millionaire by now! Seriously, hit me with your best shot, readers (or reader)! Ask me ANYTHING! I eat up anything Broadway-related like a fat kid devours cake! Anyway, I began to scour my endless library of musical soundtracks for inspiration to find my Broadway doppleganger.
It did indeed take me a while, but I eventually went with Fanny Brice from Funny Girl (see runner-ups below).
After much deliberation and swapping with my first runner up, I decided on the character immortalized by the equally immortal Barbra Streisand. It was also, not surprisingly, my dad's first choice for me. Fanny Brice is incapable of fitting in, physically or socially, simply because she's too damn special; but she finds her true calling in comedy. While surrounded by countless Follies Barbie clones, she stands out by being funny, witty, and genuine. She can smile and belt through her tears if she has a stage. She finds a man who falls for her unconventionality; she doesn't give that love up easily nor allow naysayers to bring her down. In a world where nothing, even love, is sure, Fanny knows that the stage will always be her soul, home, friend, and salvation.
Broadway Doppleganger Runner-ups:
Belle from Beauty & the Beast - Hungry for knowledge and substance outside her immediate surroundings, doesn't settle for what others think is best for her, sees through a person's appearance to the mind and soul, and has a great relationship with her dad. She's got a sharp tongue and will not be exploited. But Belle is a lauded conventional beauty and ingenue, which I acknowledge that I never have been nor ever will be. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I can't really relate with the whole blushing beauty thing.
So there you have it folks, my Broadway doppleganger. Now it's your turn...... except you don't have to use musical theatre. You can use film & tv if you want. I wanna know, who's your entertainment soulmate?????
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