In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
The Christmas Shoes. I can't stand that friggin' song! Just shove a big wad of stale cotton candy down my throat, why dontcha?! (By the way, I effing HATE cotton candy). I'm a Jew at Christmastime. If I'm gonna be subjected to the endless barrage of saccharine Christmas music invading the radio for a month and a half, at least give me some happy, peppy saccharine! Not this tear-jerking load of sap.Now, in my frustration, I went to find a music video of this song (in case you've never heard it before) that showcases how lame it really is. Instead, I found this. I'm pretty sure that whoever made this video meant for it to be a moving piece of catharsis. However, I found myself nearly in tears, not by its sentimental message, but by how incredibly ridiculous it is. I couldn't breathe for a while because I was laughing so hard. Enjoy.
Christmas Shoes
Mrs. Patterson | Myspace Video
10 Things I Love About This Video:
1. It was obviously filmed in a Wal Mart
2. The kid has a rattail
3. The awful pantomiming (especially 1:45)
4. The shoes, which my mom referred to as "'Eff Me' Pumps"
5.The guy's reading In Touch behind the kid.
6. The cut off fingers on the kid's glove to make him look like Tiny Tim
7. Radio Disney
8. The Shell Credit Card
9. An 11 year-old kid riding a bike with training wheels
10. Touch the ornament
With shoes like that, I'm wondering what that kid's story is. I mean, those shoes are pretty skanky and no kid would buy shoes like that for his mom unless he'd probably seen her wear a pair like them before. Maybe he's poor because his mom's a hooker and they have no money because daddy ran off and won't pay child support and she snorts all her earnings away. And maybe Mommy's dying from some nasty STD or a bum needle or she's ODing and she lost her shoes in the hospital while looking for the pharmacy's stash of prescription drugs. Now her son has to run out to Walmart to find her a replacement pair! Well Merry fucking Christmas, Ma! ........God I'm sick. :)
Well, I now know that I will never listen to "The Christmas Shoes" in the same way again. I may actually enjoy hearing it, now that I have that entertaining visual to accompany it!
So in conclusion, Happy 2nd night of Hanukkah to all, and to all lilah tov!
