Douchebags On Parade: A Reality TV Case Study

Thought of the Day:
It's strange that the evening news begins with "Good evening", and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't.

Reality TV. The one type of entertainment even faker than WWE wrestling. Sure, wrestling requires skill and discipline and an appearance of reality, but is it actually "wrestling"? No, it's beefy, sweaty guys pummeling each other with chairs or climbing up the ropes to jump on each other. Which is fine. But here's my complaint: If you're going to call it "Reality TV," you should film people who make sandwiches for lunch and shop at Target and have insecurities and get busted for smoking weed and fart. Otherwise, call it "Stupid, Spoiled, Glitzed-Up, Drunk Rich people who are only famous for being vain and petty" TV. ... I guess it's just easier to say "reality."

#1: I was walking past the TV the other night and my mom & stepdad were watching American Idol. Disclaimer: I can't stand this show. As Ryan Seacrest (Gayest Name Ever Award??) is talking to one of the female contestants, we see an unidentified lady rubbing stuff on the contestant's legs. The contestant explains that the unidentified lady is putting shimmer make-up on her legs for the camera. This. Is. Not. Reality. This is totally scripted, primped-and-polished, superfluous bullshit! If you're getting make-up put on your legs, you are not on "Reality TV." You are on "Celebrity TV" or "Wannabe Celebrity TV."


#2: I didn't feel like vacating the premises when my mother tuned into tonight's episode of The Bachelorette, and being a psych major, I have an odd fascination for examples of people who are completely void of all common sense, so I stuck around. So within five minutes, I realize that we have a dozen guys and one lady with not two brain cells to rub together. And that's ok; douchy, self-serving assholes need love too, I suppose. And I actually may be screwing my argument up here a bit. I would like to say that nauseatingly vain people competing for the affections of people they don't actually care about while dating 24 other people isn't reality, but we all know it happens. *Le sigh*

But that's just the problem, we don't want to watch nice, genuine, average people achieve happiness or come out on top or inspire others (unless there's a twist at the end or money involved). We want to watch those "perfect" people falling on their faces, whining in their stilettos, pushing through each other's fog of self-indulgence, totally unaware of how dead inside they must be, with camera people recording the whole thing. And ya know why we watch? Because somewhere in our sick brains, it makes us feel better about ourselves. We like to watch others fail or cry or show weakness while we sit comfortably in the living room knowing that we are not them.

It kinda bugs me that they call it "reality" - not just because it really isn't reality - because that makes the feeble-minded people and, in particular, impressionable young girls of the world believe that's what reality is, hence further damaging our already skewed sense of self esteem and self image. Anyone figure out the solution? Get the fuck out of your house and live your own life instead of watching someone else live theirs! For Christ's sake, folks, it's summer! Go to the beach or something!.... Oh, and if my tax dollars are what paid for that shimmer leg make-up, I'm gonna flip a shit!